Lavalamp

As a matter of fact,
there are two constants here.

A gnawing and aching
gutwrenching pain,
which cannot be ignored,
or can it?

On the other hand, there is a right-handed
fist, pushing on, amidst ensuing chaos,
the will to straighten out and optimize.

In one moment we are at our lowest,
an operatic mess of indignant faces and
all shades of the color blue.
The next, determined, resilient,
cool and calculating.
That's just how we do things here in New Jersey.

I had a good time with you, kid.
Special to me.
You connected with me on many different levels.
You ensnared my passions, heightened my drive.

It was not false. Just ill-timed.

I did what I did, not because of you.
but, because of me, quite simply.
Attachment is only so healthy before
we acknowledge the balance that must exist.

I was... out of balance.

Not caused by weakness,
but circumstance.
Never underestimate change,
as I had in my career, and in life.

You became a primary reason
why I woke up in the morning.
Just thought you should know that.

In a lot of ways, you and I
were completely alike in circumstance.
Which is why we connected so well.

Life will change for you. It is definite.
Life must change for me,
in looking at empirical evidence of happiness.

In society, adulthood can be
defined by career, and social status.
None of which is built without a certain
sense of self-dependancy and confidence.

I aim to build on these requirements.
I think I'll start with a couple pairs of jeans,
and a decent run.

I don't know what's in store.
Down the road, gazing from the ol' Civic.
I only hope this is not over.
Until later, Bean.

Thank you.